I used to roll my own but now I have a fag

Once upon a time, only a few weeks ago it seems, politicians were people who fed you feelgood lies while, behind the scenes, they were busy shafting you. Now they are people who promise you pain. Yes paying back the Great Debt is going to be 'painful for everyone', says David Cameron. Christ almighty, why not just kill us all and get it over with?

Mind you, here at least is a promise politicians might actually be able to make good on, although it doesn't give you much of a comeback when their policies destroy your life. 'Well we did promise you pain', they'll say. 'We can offer you more pain. Would you like more?'

Surely they are taking this too seriously. I'm no economist, but you don't actually have to pay back the national debt, do you? No you just wait until it reaches Third World proportions and then Bono or someone will campaign to have it written off. David Cameron and colleagues are behaving as if money really existed. Amateurs.

At least we are apparently going to be consulted at how we want our pain applied. They borrowed this idea from the Canadians but it does seems to tap into a particularly English vein of sadomasochism, possibly inspired by DC's experiences at Eton.

We are all his fags now.