80's revival

So the Tories are back in, their first act being to postpone EastEnders, since BBC coverage of the switchover overshot massively. First we were assured that EastEnders would follow immediately after the coverage had finished; then, when the coverage had finished, we were told that it wasn't going to be shown at all that day. Already we were being lied to.

Cameron's opening speech made mention of the elderly, the frail and the poor. Start running now, was the clear implication. If you can. There's something inhumanly bland about Cameron: stare at his face for too long and it threatens to shrivel into some hideous alien visage - specifically Michael Winner's.

No doubt Nick Clegg has already had his brain sucked dry by the Conservatoids. Poor Nick! He never really had a choice, though when he pretended to have one and did a bit of shopping around he was accused of being a 'harlot', of all things. As if jumping into bed with the first person you meet was somehow the reverse of that.

Meanwhile, the candidates for the Labour leadership are some people called Miliband (possibly it's the Steve Miller Band) and Balls. What kind of a choice is that?

I never liked The Joker.