Speak up Brown, you're through

So Gordon Brown, not being content with probably being about to lose the election, seems determined to make a real effort to lose it, by ensuring that his off the cuff remarks about voters are recorded by Sky. He could still have tried harder - I would have hoped for something more along the lines of Catherine Tate's 'Nan' character - 'What a fucking liberty! Stupid cow!' Instead, he just called the woman a 'bigot', which at least meant that the formerly, supposedly, 'taboo' subject of immigration was now fair game. I watched BBC News patrolling Rochdale to discover whether people had views on immigration. One man was 'too angry to speak' (they didn't say if this was generally the case). Others were only too happy to do so (I summarise): 'They're coming over here, taking our jobs. They live on benefits and never do a stroke of work. In fact, we don't know what's the most aggravating thing about them: their tireless work ethic or their unbelievable laziness.' You quickly realised that the reason for the taboo was not to prevent 'rivers of blood' so much as a dreary grey drizzle of ill-thought through complaint.

Enter the BNP. We had a leaflet through the door in which Nick Griffin was pictured so close to Winston Churchill that they looked like a mythological beast with two fat heads. Churchill? Why not Hitler? Well apparently, after much discussion, they decided at BNP HQ that it wouldn't play as well.

Poor old Nick! Nobody ever asks him about his economic policies, they're too hung up on this slight indiscretion of him being a Nazi. For the record, I think their economic policy is as follows: get rid of all the immigrants and everything will be OK. However, I missed the party political broadcast. Lorraine said it was hilarious. A man in a turban was brought on, possibly at gunpoint, to express his enthusiastic support. Churchill appeared again (it says something about your campaign when the only celebrity endorsements you can get are from long-dead people) and there were lots of Spitfires zooming around. Perhaps their policy is to return the country to the 40's. This seems achievable: uninvent the internet, reintroduce rationing, close all the supermarkets. It would be like one big dull, endless, reality show - that never gets televised. No doubt the immigration problem, if there is one, will solve itself.