dregs factor

Somehow I ended up watching X Factor. It was incredible. The audience were so hyped-up they would have cheered a turnip if one had been dropped onto the stage - although to be fair, Shayne isn’t that bad. To get the contestants used to the celebrity lifestyle, they took them to the premiere of King Kong. It was an appropriate choice, given that most of them were so intoxicated by this taste of stardom, you could see how - given the real thing - they’d immediately turn into monsters. In fact, Brenda the soul diva was there already. During her performance of Respect, she grabbed one young male audience member by the shirtfront to illustrate the song’s demands (his confused reaction - was he being assaulted? should he fight back? - was something to see). Some people were surprised when she was voted off. If you ask me, they stopped her just in time, before tranquilliser darts were called for.

Finally the show seems less about voting for the best performance than voting for the one most ‘desperate’ (a word they’re happy to use) for fame. ‘Vote for me’, they mouth at the camera, or openly plead (perhaps David Cameron should try this). If Shayne didn’t actually change the lyrics of Unchained Melody to ‘God speed your votes to me’, then the implication was still very clear. The big problem with this show, of course, is the songs: they should force them to perform challenging stuff, not play to their supposed strengths. I’m sure Shayne could turn even Fuck Tha Police into a smoochy love ballad (to himself); it would certainly be fun to see him try.