Don't Mention the Nazis

Spending a few days at my Mum's recently has allowed me to become properly reacquainted with the Daily Mail. Tuesday's headline explained that the parts of the UK are 'really' being 'swamped by migrants' – David Blunkett says so. How do you know if you've 'really' been swamped, I wonder? I suppose you must feel terribly wet.

A further illustration was offered by the newspaper the next day in the form of a cartoon depicting the 'UK Migrant Dam' cracking up as someone cries: 'Does anyone know a politically-correct term for “swamped”?' The implication, I think, is that such a dam really does exist, that migrants are in fact a form of liquid, and that politically-correct language is being used to cover up these 'facts'. And since humans are 90% water, more or less, maybe the Mail cartoonist has a point – though obviously migrant water would be filthy and stagnant, as opposed to the distilled water flowing through UK residents.

'Swamped' does rather sound like a word that should be preceded by 'I'm not a racist but...' However, the bottom line here is perhaps not race but (as ever) money. If all these migrants were clutching gold bars would anybody care where they came from? The problem is that they are penniless, and everybody hates and fears poor people. Especially if they are concealed behind a dam, so you don't know what they look like.

Liquid probably fails as a metaphor under the circumstances – doesn't it suggest solvency? The Mail cartoonist should probably look elsewhere for a visual analogue for migrants. How about rats?