How will it end? When will it end? Will it please end?
Did I say people were ‘insane’ to pre-order Harry Potter 7, because nobody was going to run out of it? Well, it turns out that, as so often in life, those insane people were right. We have run out, after a midnight opening which still-trembling staff remember as ‘a vision of Hell’. I was in bed, luckily.
Even before the book’s release, customers were being encouraged to add their names to a petition that begs JKR to not let the series end here. The goal is to reach a million signatures. Feel free to add your name (just beneath those of Bloomsbury’s staff) but read the book first. I mean, what if it turns out to be an expletive-ridden rant in support of the BNP? Or a highly plausible justification of bestiality? I’ve read the last few lines, and from what I can glean, it is both:
“ ‘Do you think I should use my powers to wipe out the inferior races?’, pondered Harry, continuing to rape the kitten.
‘Too fucking right you should’, agreed Hermione.”
Not even this filth is enough to stop people buying the thing. We are getting to the point where we will run out of pre-orders, precipitating the ultimate nightmare scenario: the customer being angry with us - and right to be. Nothing in retail can be worse than the customer being right, but luckily it doesn't happen often. The other day a woman with a bizarre and aggravating voice made me look for a book, which I found for her. Then she made me ring our Chelmsford shop to check that they had it there. They did, so she had it put aside for her. 'I can pick it up any time I like, yeah?' That book you just had in your hands? 'Yes.' No explanation was offered for this behaviour, unless her air of dull-witted confusion constituted one.
Even before the book’s release, customers were being encouraged to add their names to a petition that begs JKR to not let the series end here. The goal is to reach a million signatures. Feel free to add your name (just beneath those of Bloomsbury’s staff) but read the book first. I mean, what if it turns out to be an expletive-ridden rant in support of the BNP? Or a highly plausible justification of bestiality? I’ve read the last few lines, and from what I can glean, it is both:
“ ‘Do you think I should use my powers to wipe out the inferior races?’, pondered Harry, continuing to rape the kitten.
‘Too fucking right you should’, agreed Hermione.”
Not even this filth is enough to stop people buying the thing. We are getting to the point where we will run out of pre-orders, precipitating the ultimate nightmare scenario: the customer being angry with us - and right to be. Nothing in retail can be worse than the customer being right, but luckily it doesn't happen often. The other day a woman with a bizarre and aggravating voice made me look for a book, which I found for her. Then she made me ring our Chelmsford shop to check that they had it there. They did, so she had it put aside for her. 'I can pick it up any time I like, yeah?' That book you just had in your hands? 'Yes.' No explanation was offered for this behaviour, unless her air of dull-witted confusion constituted one.
posted by martin at 12:38 PM
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