Do want fries with your copy of Fast Food Nation?
So I went into work the day after the big announcement expecting the place to be harmonised. Staff floating round in a trance of contentment. It wasn’t quite like that. The new contract is more about abolishing double time for Sundays and Bank Holidays. Even Christmas Day, were we ever called upon to work it, would command no compensation save the usual day in lieu. This is described as ‘preparing for the future’, a future where every day is the same, and I’m at the beck and call of any idiot who wants to buy Harry Potter on Christmas morning.
Of course, working in retail, I’m already aware that I’m a second class citizen to whom national holidays don’t apply, but it’s one thing to know this and another to sign a contract agreeing to it. On the other hand my wages do go up: 19p an hour. Where do I sign?
In terms of progress within the company, the future looks even bleaker than before. Whereas I could just about have got my head round the concept of being a ‘floor manager’, this position has now been replaced with something called ‘lead bookseller’. That’s ‘lead’ as in ‘leading’, not ‘lead’ as in ‘leaden’ (which obviously I would have preferred). The only other career option that suggests itself - since we will now get 65 days of sick leave rather than 20 - is contracting bubonic plague.
The problem is that everything is going to become much more customer-focused. Bookselling used to be the last refuge of the misanthrope in retail (cf: Black Books) but sadly this is no longer the case, thanks to stupid capitalism. I had a look at this pamphlet they were given at the manager’s conference and it mentioned something called ‘Get Selling’ which appears to be a whole package of pre-rehearsed phrases, facial expressions and postures to use with customers, which will be brutally drilled into our brains by crack teams of trainers. It comes with ringing endorsements from ‘pilot stores’, the kind of thing you get in ads for baldness cures: ‘At first we were really dubious about these brainwashing techniques but now we think they’re just great!’
Amusingly, they have divided Waterstone’s customers into various ‘types’, patronisingly called things like ‘passionate and prolific’ and ‘older and self-reliant’. They come with mugshots, everyone grinning. All except for one, that is. This is the young man chosen to represent ‘uninvolved reluctants’ (13%), who just looks a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps I can make a career in Waterstone’s trying to reach this difficult group. I really feel I can identify with them.
Of course, working in retail, I’m already aware that I’m a second class citizen to whom national holidays don’t apply, but it’s one thing to know this and another to sign a contract agreeing to it. On the other hand my wages do go up: 19p an hour. Where do I sign?
In terms of progress within the company, the future looks even bleaker than before. Whereas I could just about have got my head round the concept of being a ‘floor manager’, this position has now been replaced with something called ‘lead bookseller’. That’s ‘lead’ as in ‘leading’, not ‘lead’ as in ‘leaden’ (which obviously I would have preferred). The only other career option that suggests itself - since we will now get 65 days of sick leave rather than 20 - is contracting bubonic plague.
The problem is that everything is going to become much more customer-focused. Bookselling used to be the last refuge of the misanthrope in retail (cf: Black Books) but sadly this is no longer the case, thanks to stupid capitalism. I had a look at this pamphlet they were given at the manager’s conference and it mentioned something called ‘Get Selling’ which appears to be a whole package of pre-rehearsed phrases, facial expressions and postures to use with customers, which will be brutally drilled into our brains by crack teams of trainers. It comes with ringing endorsements from ‘pilot stores’, the kind of thing you get in ads for baldness cures: ‘At first we were really dubious about these brainwashing techniques but now we think they’re just great!’
Amusingly, they have divided Waterstone’s customers into various ‘types’, patronisingly called things like ‘passionate and prolific’ and ‘older and self-reliant’. They come with mugshots, everyone grinning. All except for one, that is. This is the young man chosen to represent ‘uninvolved reluctants’ (13%), who just looks a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps I can make a career in Waterstone’s trying to reach this difficult group. I really feel I can identify with them.
posted by martin at 3:13 PM
4 Comments:
De-lurking to concur completely with your take on this. You didn't mention the upcoming ban on borrowing books to review them, perhaps because the idea seems so incredible.
Not as incredible as their trying to stake a claim on proofs, apparently so that we can give them to loyal customers and thus make them feel 'valued'. Yes, if I want to feel 'valued' by Waterstone's I'm obviously on the wrong side of the counter. Although, is this ban on borrowing really going to happen? The 'tick sheet' we had to fill in was more than a little unclear.
I'm probably well out of the loop, but have just discovered your blog & it's a revelation. I really hope you finish the novel, I haven't enjoyed reading anything this much in ages.
All the best,
one of the converted.
As far as I know, I'm not even in the loop, but thank you for your kind words.
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