the future
What with all the excitement I forgot to say that we have a new housemate: the Facebook guy signed up and I can reveal that his name is Ross Michael Brown. Shortly after signing the contract, he put his ‘pros and cons’ on his Facebook profile, and his cons were that he is ‘selfish, lazy, and thoughtless’. Later, he deleted the pros and cons and simply wrote: ‘I am completely awesome and legendary’.
In the photo on his profile, he is wielding a big sword. It really is all quite frightening.
At least we’ll be too busy dodging RMB’s blade to watch terrible TV like Britain’s Youngest Boozers. Really, it’s enough to make you turn to drink. Take this girl, reacting badly to being called a pisshead: doesn’t she know the name of the programme she’s in? Of course, she never had a chance: her mother called her Sherrie. What hope for her sisters Brandy, Chardonnay, and Sex on the Beach?
Mat and Amanda are back from Cuba, still talking about having a pig or pigs. Only he wants to eat them, and she just likes them for themselves. Actually, that isn’t such a bad basis for a relationship. Both are considering new careers: beauty therapy in her case while Mat will be taking photos of small children, hopefully with the permission of their parents this time…
We’ve been trying to think of ways in which they might combine their talents. Perhaps, should Amanda branch out into colonic irrigation, Mat could take a picture of her clients’ faces just as the water hits. Like the souvenir of some wild water ride in Thorpe Park (if they still have such things). In fact, why call it colonic irrigation? It’s very off-putting. How about, I don’t know, Happy Hose Hour, or The Splurge? That might really work, and if we can get the pigs involved too…
I think I’ve got carried away again.
In the photo on his profile, he is wielding a big sword. It really is all quite frightening.
At least we’ll be too busy dodging RMB’s blade to watch terrible TV like Britain’s Youngest Boozers. Really, it’s enough to make you turn to drink. Take this girl, reacting badly to being called a pisshead: doesn’t she know the name of the programme she’s in? Of course, she never had a chance: her mother called her Sherrie. What hope for her sisters Brandy, Chardonnay, and Sex on the Beach?
Mat and Amanda are back from Cuba, still talking about having a pig or pigs. Only he wants to eat them, and she just likes them for themselves. Actually, that isn’t such a bad basis for a relationship. Both are considering new careers: beauty therapy in her case while Mat will be taking photos of small children, hopefully with the permission of their parents this time…
We’ve been trying to think of ways in which they might combine their talents. Perhaps, should Amanda branch out into colonic irrigation, Mat could take a picture of her clients’ faces just as the water hits. Like the souvenir of some wild water ride in Thorpe Park (if they still have such things). In fact, why call it colonic irrigation? It’s very off-putting. How about, I don’t know, Happy Hose Hour, or The Splurge? That might really work, and if we can get the pigs involved too…
I think I’ve got carried away again.
posted by martin at 11:04 AM
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