Blank Generation

Dave got the keys to the new place. Now he's worrying about how he's going to pay for it. 'Direct debit', I suggested, helpfully.

I went in there with Dave, Mat and Rhys. Mat is Dave's 'interior design consultant'. Unpaid, of course, which is useful since it means Dave doesn't actually have to use any of his ideas. The principal one of which is that the whole place should be painted entirely white in a tribute to the early George Lucas film THX1138, set in an oppressive world of the future. That's exactly the kind of atmosphere I look forward to living in: oppressive.

But perhaps we already live in this oppressive world of the future, since, as a number of visits to Wickes has made clear, there are plenty of shades of white available, with names like Blandness, Who Cares? and Unlikely To Offend Future Buyers. I was more struck by a colour called Sugarplum, but Dave refused to have any truck with that, instead firmly directing my attention to a battleship-grey shade called Steel.

I have an urge to paint my room lilac, but aren't sure if I can endure the homophobic abuse this is bound to entail. Perhaps I shall ask the Shilson's dachshund, Lulu, for advice. She has already expressed a critique of the lounge carpet in the form of a lengthy turd. Or perhaps I shall paint my room in Indifference - a popular shade of white, I believe.