unreality TV

At work Lorraine was googling quangos. Luckily it seemed that we weren't one. Nevertheless when George Osborne was dishing out the spending cuts on Tuesday, I half-expected that we would be mentioned by name (I used to work with GO at Foyles, and the less said about that, the better). Nothing happened anyway, except the office nextdoor split up, due not to the economic situation but to what was described as 'a poorly-worded e-mail'. It's true - half of them suddenly relocated to work in the office down the end of the corridor, where the sink is. This was the day before I went on five day's annual leave, so I can't help but wonder what I'll find on my return. An armed siege?

I have been attempting to watch The Only Way Is Essex. This has attracted a lot of adverse comment locally for not representing 'the real Essex'. Having seen a couple of episodes, I'd have to agree. It doesn't seem to be on nodding terms with reality at all. It is a 'docu-soap', but that only describes what it isn't. It is not a documentary and it is not a soap. The people in it are not acting but neither are they being themselves. They are nominally in Essex but they could just as easily be floating in space. And it doesn't help, of course, that they are orange.

I find it oddly hard to focus on, possibly because by the time it comes on on a Friday night, I have normally consumed half a bottle of wine. The only thing that grabs my attention in the midst of this glistening void is the sudden appearance of a sight I see almost every day in real life - the back entrance to the Sugar Hut. This doesn't make the programme seem any more real but it has got me questioning the authenticity of my walk to work.