the signs were all there

Back to work. I suppose it's a sign of the times that a room down the corridor has been renamed the Redeployment Room. It's a snazzy looking sign which, when you look closer, is only laminated card. Nothing for George Osborne to worry about there then.

This is the room where we used to wash our mugs up, but I'm afraid to go in there now in case I re-emerge as a cleaner.

Upstairs there's a sign above the photocopier telling you to ring Facilities before the toner runs out. Were I a more officious person, I would be on the phone to them daily - 'It hasn't run out yet...' - but even though this is the kind of behaviour the NHS seems to encourage, I haven't.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, Phil in Eastenders is on crack. Naturally he was a braindead stumbling addict minutes after trying it for the first time. The announcer said that he had 'hit rock bottom', then a week or so later he said that he'd 'reached a new low'. How is this possible unless Phil is tunnelling through the earth? Perhaps, Dave suggested, he will reach the Chilean miners soon.