the big sleaze
At work there was a delivery of 'facial tissues'. In the context of organ donation, this seemed rather alarming. But it was only six boxes of Kleenex.
Everyone was very excited at work about the prospect of the Home Counties being 'buried' under 40 cm of snow (source: the Times online) and it did snow. But not enough. I now feel like I must be addicted to snow, because it's never enough. In truth, it would take a lot to stop me getting to work, considering I walk there, but at least it makes the journey more interesting.
For instance, in the playing fields opposite Crescent Drive, someone had made a snowman with an absolutely gigantic penis. They had made a very good job of it; it had a real sculptural quality. Sadly, the next day it had been destroyed. Some people have no respect.
Peering into the field, I imagined someone asking me what I was looking for. 'A snowman with a massive cock', I would have had to say. I supposed that they would have moved on then - though not, I hope, without wishing me luck.
Obviously if I lived somewhere like Canada, I would be bored with snow. Mat's brother Grant went back there recently, after coming over for the wedding. He gave us some insights into the strange practices of Canadians. 'Curling nights', apparently. This is a bit like bowls, on ice, but featuring a stripper. We were in the Green Man, which did not offer anything quite so perverse, though it does now have an 'Adult Dining Area', I noticed. Wonder what goes on in there?
Grant was sadly deprived of his favourite pastime, getting Mat horribly drunk, because Mat was driving. He contented himself with plying him with Tabasco sauce (in the Green Man's equivalent of a Virgin Mary), so that his lips went numb.
On the way home Mat managed to say through tingling lips that although Sam was ill with a cold, 'he is still awesome'. 'You and Dave should have one', he suggested. Now that would be a tabloid shocker. Not that we would abuse a child, of course - we wouldn't be that interested. Rather, it would have its own room and we wouldn't worry when we didn't see it for days, just assume it had got lucky.
Everyone was very excited at work about the prospect of the Home Counties being 'buried' under 40 cm of snow (source: the Times online) and it did snow. But not enough. I now feel like I must be addicted to snow, because it's never enough. In truth, it would take a lot to stop me getting to work, considering I walk there, but at least it makes the journey more interesting.
For instance, in the playing fields opposite Crescent Drive, someone had made a snowman with an absolutely gigantic penis. They had made a very good job of it; it had a real sculptural quality. Sadly, the next day it had been destroyed. Some people have no respect.
Peering into the field, I imagined someone asking me what I was looking for. 'A snowman with a massive cock', I would have had to say. I supposed that they would have moved on then - though not, I hope, without wishing me luck.
Obviously if I lived somewhere like Canada, I would be bored with snow. Mat's brother Grant went back there recently, after coming over for the wedding. He gave us some insights into the strange practices of Canadians. 'Curling nights', apparently. This is a bit like bowls, on ice, but featuring a stripper. We were in the Green Man, which did not offer anything quite so perverse, though it does now have an 'Adult Dining Area', I noticed. Wonder what goes on in there?
Grant was sadly deprived of his favourite pastime, getting Mat horribly drunk, because Mat was driving. He contented himself with plying him with Tabasco sauce (in the Green Man's equivalent of a Virgin Mary), so that his lips went numb.
On the way home Mat managed to say through tingling lips that although Sam was ill with a cold, 'he is still awesome'. 'You and Dave should have one', he suggested. Now that would be a tabloid shocker. Not that we would abuse a child, of course - we wouldn't be that interested. Rather, it would have its own room and we wouldn't worry when we didn't see it for days, just assume it had got lucky.
posted by martin at 11:51 AM
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