pissing with confidence

The second part of the Matandamanda pre-wedding experience got underway on Saturday at the Victoria Arms. This was 'pub golf'. I set out with the determination not to compete, and stuck to my guns. After all, what could I possibly achieve? A free curry...to be thrown up immediately afterwards? What was the point? When the time came to have a piss in a pub designated a 'water hazard', it was I who led the charge - as I thought, only to find that Rhys had got there fractionally before me. The floodgates, it seemed, were open.

We ate in Subway - those of us who turned up our noses at Macdonald's, anyway. It was a good idea in one respect (the food) and a bad one in another (the amount of choices that need to be made about the food.) What do you mean, I have to specify the kind of bread I want? Can't you see I'm drunk?

The answer, I fear, was yes: they could.

It was rumoured that Alex won, but by then it was very hard to tell.

A headline in the Brentwood Gazette: 'Parishioners Fight Randy Woodpeckers'. I'd love to tell you more but I feared that actually reading the article would disappoint me.