deja vu

I got in on Thursday and the radio had been retuned from Radio 2 to Magic FM. Every now and again this happens, as Jeremy Vine fatigue takes its toll. The reception isn't perfect but this is not without its plus points: my colleagues can enjoy the wall-to-wall hits and I can enjoy the bursts of static. Plus certain information that you don't get from Jeremy Vine: for example, the news that 'Christmas has definitely come early at Dagenham Motors'. Our listening is further enlivened by visits to 'the Magic newsroom', but this is not as exciting as it sounds.

As for the playlist it is largely aimed at making Radio 2 seem cutting edge, and it succeeds. In order to refresh my acquaintance with the latest hip new sounds I found myself once again watching The Official Top 40 on Viva at the weekend. I didn't get to the end – maybe I should have tackled something less ambitious, like the Official Top Ten. I didn't even find out whether Tinie Tempah made it to number one for – as our host, known only as 'me Danielle' put it – 'the third time today'. The third time today? How often do they compile the chart nowadays – every hour? I think she meant he'd be number one for the third time ever, today. But I wasn't hearing that comma. Standards are slipping. Sometimes 'me Danielle' couldn't even muster up a video because, so she said, no official video was available yet. Given the fly-by-night nature of some of these acts this was understandable, but it even applied to Cher. Really? It's hard to believe that someone so long in the tooth would be so careless. But it was so: no 'official' video for whatever it is she's churning out these days – just (conceivably) a suppressed YouTube clip of her dancing in her bedroom.

Perhaps it says it it all that What Does The Fox Say? was the best thing on offer. It won't break my heart if I never hear it again but, if it doesn't really answer the titular question, it has a lot of fun not doing that. Elsewhere, sound ideas were scuppered by poor execution. Take Rizzle Kicks' Skip To The Good Bit – nice title, shame there unaccountably wasn't a good bit, only what sounded like the chorus from EMF's Unbelievable with a mariachi band playing over the top of it.

But perhaps, strange to think, the charts aren't for embittered middle-aged men. They need something bland and soothing as porridge. Oh right yes, Magic FM. I nearly forgot.