Nerves of Steel
We went round to see Mat, Amanda and The Baby. He was hiccupping and wailing; Sam, on the other hand was fine. No not really! Mat was taking all the trauma in his stride. He didn't take any photos during the Caesarian but when Amanda was being reassembled afterwards he was on hand to tell the surgeons which bit went where. Or maybe not that, but he did glimpse one of her organs ('I think it was her stomach.') He likened the scene to a low budget horror film - unconvincing. Neither is he entirely convinced by Sam, who he persists in describing as 'animatronic'.
Despite which he is determined only to expose him to high culture: Mozart, highbrow documentaries and grisly Asian horror films. He was urged to look away from Eastenders, and the poor deprived (I'm not going to say 'abused'...yet) child will never get to see Britain's Got Talent. He really will be missing out. Most of these talent shows aren't worth watching after the total loonies are weeded out. In this case quite a few - ahem - 'eccentrics' make it through to the semi-finals (a 73-year old man threatening to give new meaning to the word 'breakdancing'). At which point their often thin acts are overwhelmed by the excessive staging: one poor Asian violinist had to compete with flares going off all around her. It was like she was being napalmed.
However, I did get to the point on Friday of thinking about turning to another channel. At which point 10-year old Hollie Steel broke down in the middle of Edelweiss. I couldn't look away after that. She grabbed Dec (or Ant) - judging from his horrified expression, possibly by the balls - and begged to be allowed to sing again. And when she was granted her wish, and got through, she was asked how she felt and said, in a eerily frenzied voice: 'I don't want it to stop!' Blimey! If she's like this now, what will she be like when the booze and drugs have taken their toll? At thirteen, say.
Not that she will be able to match the trajectory of Susan Boyle, who despite fulfilling the important criteria of having a good voice and being ugly as sin, did not make it, and is already in the Priory! That's entertainment.
Despite which he is determined only to expose him to high culture: Mozart, highbrow documentaries and grisly Asian horror films. He was urged to look away from Eastenders, and the poor deprived (I'm not going to say 'abused'...yet) child will never get to see Britain's Got Talent. He really will be missing out. Most of these talent shows aren't worth watching after the total loonies are weeded out. In this case quite a few - ahem - 'eccentrics' make it through to the semi-finals (a 73-year old man threatening to give new meaning to the word 'breakdancing'). At which point their often thin acts are overwhelmed by the excessive staging: one poor Asian violinist had to compete with flares going off all around her. It was like she was being napalmed.
However, I did get to the point on Friday of thinking about turning to another channel. At which point 10-year old Hollie Steel broke down in the middle of Edelweiss. I couldn't look away after that. She grabbed Dec (or Ant) - judging from his horrified expression, possibly by the balls - and begged to be allowed to sing again. And when she was granted her wish, and got through, she was asked how she felt and said, in a eerily frenzied voice: 'I don't want it to stop!' Blimey! If she's like this now, what will she be like when the booze and drugs have taken their toll? At thirteen, say.
Not that she will be able to match the trajectory of Susan Boyle, who despite fulfilling the important criteria of having a good voice and being ugly as sin, did not make it, and is already in the Priory! That's entertainment.
posted by martin at 10:43 AM
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