Eviction
While I was away in Suffolk, the landlady came. She had expressed a wish to meet us, then wanted to come at a time when no-one would be in. This being rearranged, she never turned up, but arrived the next evening instead, along with a guy who did a lot of measuring of things. Yes, she does want to sell up, but not quite yet, because she won’t make enough money (my heart bleeds for her) and in the meantime she wants to make a lot of ‘improvements’. How sinister that word now sounds!
Apparently she moaned about the state of the garden. I actually did attempt to mow the lawn a few weeks ago, and it seems to have destroyed the entire ecosystem, since grass no longer grows on it, just some sort of weed.
Oh well.
I went to Chelmsford with Dave and Mat. It was a journey fraught with terror. A spider of considerable dimensions was crawling over the edge of the open window next to me before we set off, and my attempts to flick it away with a CD by the hateful Fratellis backfired disastrously, landing it on the floor at my sandal-clad feet. Simultaneously, Dave was playing Queen - another pet hate of mine - on the car stereo. ‘Queen and a spider’, commented Mat when we picked him up, clearly relishing this nightmare (for me) scenario. The spider is still in the car, as far as anyone can tell.
Brian, a man with a face like some strange wood-carving and the mind of a child, won Big Brother. There are those who say he’s not as thick as he seems, that he is only pretending not to know who Shakespeare is. You can’t blame him: I’m sure Shakespeare, were he around, would pretend not to know who Brian is. Towards the end of his time in the house Brian was to be found staring at the moon, and getting embroiled in a discussion about the nature of the universe. What is the universe?: it sounds like heavyweight philosophical stuff but no, that was just it - he really didn’t know. ‘We live on Earth, don’t we?’, he asked, displaying a grasp of the basics at least. Eventually he managed to work it out with reference not to Galileo or Stephen Hawking, but to that intellectual giant of our time Noel Edmonds, whose belief in ‘cosmic ordering’ he shares.
So there it was: the universe is what you order things from. Clearly he is confusing it with the internet, but, hey, it was a step in the right direction.
Apparently she moaned about the state of the garden. I actually did attempt to mow the lawn a few weeks ago, and it seems to have destroyed the entire ecosystem, since grass no longer grows on it, just some sort of weed.
Oh well.
I went to Chelmsford with Dave and Mat. It was a journey fraught with terror. A spider of considerable dimensions was crawling over the edge of the open window next to me before we set off, and my attempts to flick it away with a CD by the hateful Fratellis backfired disastrously, landing it on the floor at my sandal-clad feet. Simultaneously, Dave was playing Queen - another pet hate of mine - on the car stereo. ‘Queen and a spider’, commented Mat when we picked him up, clearly relishing this nightmare (for me) scenario. The spider is still in the car, as far as anyone can tell.
Brian, a man with a face like some strange wood-carving and the mind of a child, won Big Brother. There are those who say he’s not as thick as he seems, that he is only pretending not to know who Shakespeare is. You can’t blame him: I’m sure Shakespeare, were he around, would pretend not to know who Brian is. Towards the end of his time in the house Brian was to be found staring at the moon, and getting embroiled in a discussion about the nature of the universe. What is the universe?: it sounds like heavyweight philosophical stuff but no, that was just it - he really didn’t know. ‘We live on Earth, don’t we?’, he asked, displaying a grasp of the basics at least. Eventually he managed to work it out with reference not to Galileo or Stephen Hawking, but to that intellectual giant of our time Noel Edmonds, whose belief in ‘cosmic ordering’ he shares.
So there it was: the universe is what you order things from. Clearly he is confusing it with the internet, but, hey, it was a step in the right direction.
posted by martin at 2:56 PM
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