shot by both sides

At Waterstone’s they’ve gone crazy! All stationery is 3 for 2, suddenly! Did you see that American programme, which was like a spoof of The Apprentice, in which the ‘boss’ who was making all the decisions about who was hired and fired turned out to be a monkey? Likewise, it wouldn’t surprise me if all Waterstone’s marketing decisions were being made by a chicken with its head cut off.

All this frantic undercutting is so undignified, isn’t it? Running around slapping stickers on things like in a children’s game. No wonder Paula’s resigned, due to high blood pressure. ‘Do you resent me jumping ship?’, she asked me. I pointed out that, with no job to go to, she might just as well say she was jumping overboard. And I can’t resent that, no matter how hard I try.

But it's pretty clear that she doesn’t care anymore. I mean, the other day she put four copies of In The Woods by Tana French under ‘w’ instead of ‘f’. Now there are occasions when you can legitimately confuse title and author (ie: Charlotte Gray by Sebastian Faulks) and ‘Woods’ is a plausible surname, I agree, but ‘In The’? Despite her attempts to convince me that this is perfectly valid in hip-hop culture (she’s from South Woodham Ferrers) I was not won over. That would be In Da Woodz, anyway, wouldn’t it?

Luckily I can go home to a warm welcome. ‘…fuckin’ shoot you!’, comes the cheery call from upstairs in the office as I walk in. ‘On! Your! Knees! NOW!’ Dave playing a computer game. Or so he says.