protein shake

I forgot to mention: Mat installed me on MSN, a device through which you can ‘talk’ to people using a ‘keyboard’ to form ‘words’. Amazing. And not without its hazards. I was talking to Liz and she accidentally pressed ‘search’ instead of ‘send’, after writing the word ‘Horlicks’. Which summoned out of nowhere the phrase ‘spunk drinker’, with a link. To what? A failed (or banned) advertising campaign for that beverage? I couldn't bring myself to look.

Mat has been busy ticking all the boxes marked ‘crazed loner who eventually goes on killing spree’. Samurai sword on prominent display in bedroom. Protein shakes for ‘bulking up’('Do I look bigger?'). Military obsession (Operation Flashpoint). All he needs to do now is shave his head, and buy an assault rifle. Those clients who haven't paid him yet (or, as he prefers to call them, his 'enemies') will have the surprise of their lives!

At work, everyone is ill, leaving me to field inane customer requests. A bored woman’s voice on the phone asks: ‘Have you got anything on how to build a log cabin?’ No. ‘What about Basildon? Would they have anything?’ Basildon? Oh sure, they would. That’s real deer-hunting territory, Basildon. Watch out for them grizzlies, though!