'If You're A Wizard, Why Do You Wear Glasses?'

Yes it was Harry Potter day again. By the time I got to the shop, at 8:30, the fuss had died down considerably. Two kids sat on a bench reading their copies. Probably in the employ of a national newspaper, racing to meet the deadline for their reviews.

There was still a lot of fun to be had. Or, in my case, avoided. Ex-Eastender Danny Moon was out in the chapel ruins, pretending to be the Prisoner of Azkhaban. There was face-painting - but then, there always is. One dissenting voice was heard. Local author Brian Evans (Romford Heritage, Sutton, £9-99) came in to deliver an impromptu rant on Harry Potter, calling it 'trash', and going on to mention 'brainwashing' and Al Qaeda. Less impressively, he closed by telling everyone that they could get it for £8-99 in Woolworth's. I felt he'd rather abandoned the moral high ground there.

Not that I'm a fan, though I grabbed a copy as soon as I could, just to turn to the final paragraph and find out who dies. Thus I enjoyed a crazy thrill of superiority to all those people who would actually have to read the bloody thing in order to find out what I already knew.

It didn't last.