so this is Christmas... and WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???!!
We went to a meeting in London, and were each of us asked to name something we'd done in the last year that we were proud of. Proud! This was a tough one. It wasn't like I'd masterminded any campaigns lately, but I could hardly talk about a particularly gruelling bout of invoice-photocopying, could I? In the end I said: 'Becoming Head of Media and PR.' If you're going to tell a lie, make it a big one. At least it might get a laugh. And it did. So that's alright then - isn't it?
Then we were called upon to split up into groups and come up with words and phrases which might be used to represent the department and what it does in a positive promotional light. This was quite fun. Our group came up with things like 'flexible and responsive', which made us sound like something you could pick up in Ann Summers. And if that's not a positive promotional light, then I don't know what is.
The real focus of the meeting, however, was the Christmas meal in Cafe Rouge afterwards. Other Christmas meals have arisen, as and when, including an Italian masquerade ball in Billericay, organised by Nicky, who then couldn't attend because of illness. Walking in, I wondered if I didn't feel slightly ill as well. The marquee was heaving - it seemed literally, since the light-dotted walls were rippling like a stomach in the throes of peristalsis. It did seem to me the kind of place that was likely to host some soon-to-be-legendary disaster, possibly tonight (THE ONES WHO STAYED IN WITH THE NOROVIRUS WERE THE LUCKY ONES, it would say in tomorrow's papers). We had been promised 'authentic bursts of song', which also worried me: it sounded like being trapped in the Go Compare advert (before it turned ironic). It wasn't like that at all, because at least the Go Compare man can sing - however, the fact that the singing was on occasion quite bad didn't make it any the less authentic; perhaps it even made it more so.
There were also 'aerial performers', who thrillingly evoked the possibility that maybe they hadn't been doing it very long, and possibly had only moments before been recruited from the bar staff. They certainly provided a memorable display of 'camel toe', as Mat eagerly pointed out. Shaun said that there is a new name for that now on 'the street', only I can't remember what it is. I was more thrilled by the display provided by the waiting staff, who long after they had offloaded our plates were carrying identical plates past our table over and over again, so that it was like watching a film on a loop.
You certainly had to marvel at the organisation of the whole thing, and if it was finally a lot less like being in Italy than it was like being in Billericay (albeit in a sort of disco balloon with a mock-up of the Rialto Bridge down the middle of it) then it was all highly entertaining and time passed so quickly that it seemed only a short time after the meal was finished that we were being presented with the 'survivor's breakfast'. Actually, it was only a couple of hours, but my point still stands. I think.
Then we were called upon to split up into groups and come up with words and phrases which might be used to represent the department and what it does in a positive promotional light. This was quite fun. Our group came up with things like 'flexible and responsive', which made us sound like something you could pick up in Ann Summers. And if that's not a positive promotional light, then I don't know what is.
The real focus of the meeting, however, was the Christmas meal in Cafe Rouge afterwards. Other Christmas meals have arisen, as and when, including an Italian masquerade ball in Billericay, organised by Nicky, who then couldn't attend because of illness. Walking in, I wondered if I didn't feel slightly ill as well. The marquee was heaving - it seemed literally, since the light-dotted walls were rippling like a stomach in the throes of peristalsis. It did seem to me the kind of place that was likely to host some soon-to-be-legendary disaster, possibly tonight (THE ONES WHO STAYED IN WITH THE NOROVIRUS WERE THE LUCKY ONES, it would say in tomorrow's papers). We had been promised 'authentic bursts of song', which also worried me: it sounded like being trapped in the Go Compare advert (before it turned ironic). It wasn't like that at all, because at least the Go Compare man can sing - however, the fact that the singing was on occasion quite bad didn't make it any the less authentic; perhaps it even made it more so.
There were also 'aerial performers', who thrillingly evoked the possibility that maybe they hadn't been doing it very long, and possibly had only moments before been recruited from the bar staff. They certainly provided a memorable display of 'camel toe', as Mat eagerly pointed out. Shaun said that there is a new name for that now on 'the street', only I can't remember what it is. I was more thrilled by the display provided by the waiting staff, who long after they had offloaded our plates were carrying identical plates past our table over and over again, so that it was like watching a film on a loop.
You certainly had to marvel at the organisation of the whole thing, and if it was finally a lot less like being in Italy than it was like being in Billericay (albeit in a sort of disco balloon with a mock-up of the Rialto Bridge down the middle of it) then it was all highly entertaining and time passed so quickly that it seemed only a short time after the meal was finished that we were being presented with the 'survivor's breakfast'. Actually, it was only a couple of hours, but my point still stands. I think.
posted by martin at 12:33 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home