No More Film Reviews. After This.
Japanese hand-held horror flick Shirome is being touted as Blair Witch meets The X-Factor, and that's something we've all been waiting for - well I know I have. The director previously made Grotesque, which has the distinction of being banned by the BBFC. Human Centipede 2 wriggled out of this, but it's a simple enough thing to remove one barbed-wire-wrapped penis. Grotesque presumably had a whole banquet of barbed-wire-wrapped penises, like macabre pigs-in-blankets, and more besides. At any rate, it was pronounced inoperable.
Shirome is not likely to go unreleased due to unadulterated gore - the question here is whether it's strong enough to rival Ghost Hunting With The Saturdays. Here's the story behind its making, as related by the man introducing the film at the ICA. Director is asked to work with up-and-coming (now famous) girl band; director protests that they can't act; director is told: don't tell them it's a film.
So the band is told that they are in a Most Haunted type TV show, and have to visit this accursed school. Then the director arranges certain 'unscheduled' mysterious events. A self-described 'relator of ghostly tales' (who comes with his own lectern and sinister theme music) rolls in to give the girls the lowdown on the accursed building. Suddenly he starts vomiting! As though possessed! The girls scream. It doesn't take a lot to make them scream, it transpires. A flickering light. The idea that someone somewhere has died. 'I'll try not to get possessed', one girl promises, bravely, before everyone starts screaming again. They scream so much that they barely need their own fans.
Shirome, who haunts the school, is an entity who grants wishes. If your wish is sincere, it will come true; if, however, there is any 'doubt in your heart', you will be dragged to Hell. The emphasis on sincerity is a nice touch, given the nature of this project. Given, also, the nature of the band, who sing awfully cute songs about their skincare routines, but, when asked if they would sell their souls to the Devil in return for worldly success, respond with an enthusiastic 'yes'.
There are amusing moments here; and there are some eerie moments, but what should be the highpoint of the whole thing - the exploration of the haunted school - is a bit of a damp squib, muddled and confusing. There are strange sounds and some mysterious gloop dripping from the walls. Perhaps, I wondered idly, it was earwax dislodged by the girls' relentless shrieking. Revenge of the Earwax: there have been stranger Japanese hauntings.
There was a party afterwards. We were assured that the 'beatboxing monk' would not start his act until the film had finished. I decided to give this a miss. A beatboxing monk did sound like the kind of thing that's best left to the imagination. And I'd just bought a dictionary. You can't go to a party carrying a dictionary. Even if it's a present for your Mum. Perhaps especially if it's a present for your Mum.
I did fill in the feedback form a Japanese woman gave me. I awarded this film three stars.
Shirome is not likely to go unreleased due to unadulterated gore - the question here is whether it's strong enough to rival Ghost Hunting With The Saturdays. Here's the story behind its making, as related by the man introducing the film at the ICA. Director is asked to work with up-and-coming (now famous) girl band; director protests that they can't act; director is told: don't tell them it's a film.
So the band is told that they are in a Most Haunted type TV show, and have to visit this accursed school. Then the director arranges certain 'unscheduled' mysterious events. A self-described 'relator of ghostly tales' (who comes with his own lectern and sinister theme music) rolls in to give the girls the lowdown on the accursed building. Suddenly he starts vomiting! As though possessed! The girls scream. It doesn't take a lot to make them scream, it transpires. A flickering light. The idea that someone somewhere has died. 'I'll try not to get possessed', one girl promises, bravely, before everyone starts screaming again. They scream so much that they barely need their own fans.
Shirome, who haunts the school, is an entity who grants wishes. If your wish is sincere, it will come true; if, however, there is any 'doubt in your heart', you will be dragged to Hell. The emphasis on sincerity is a nice touch, given the nature of this project. Given, also, the nature of the band, who sing awfully cute songs about their skincare routines, but, when asked if they would sell their souls to the Devil in return for worldly success, respond with an enthusiastic 'yes'.
There are amusing moments here; and there are some eerie moments, but what should be the highpoint of the whole thing - the exploration of the haunted school - is a bit of a damp squib, muddled and confusing. There are strange sounds and some mysterious gloop dripping from the walls. Perhaps, I wondered idly, it was earwax dislodged by the girls' relentless shrieking. Revenge of the Earwax: there have been stranger Japanese hauntings.
There was a party afterwards. We were assured that the 'beatboxing monk' would not start his act until the film had finished. I decided to give this a miss. A beatboxing monk did sound like the kind of thing that's best left to the imagination. And I'd just bought a dictionary. You can't go to a party carrying a dictionary. Even if it's a present for your Mum. Perhaps especially if it's a present for your Mum.
I did fill in the feedback form a Japanese woman gave me. I awarded this film three stars.
posted by martin at 11:11 AM
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