other people's lives

Barbara, the manager, asked me and Paula into the office to ‘tell us about Christmas’. I thought she was going to sit us down and say: ‘Christmas is a magical time when snowmen come to life and elves help Santa bring gifts to all the good children.’ But instead she told us there would be more promotions than we could possibly handle, and that we’d open on Boxing Day and only get paid double time, instead of triple like it would have been under the old regime.

To lighten the atmosphere, Paula recalled a recent news story about a sexually experimental woman whose lover tried to kill her with latex, to which (cruel irony for the kinky) she had an allergy. She met this man on a ‘masochistic chatline’, apparently. I tried ringing one of those. They just put you on hold forever.

Back at home Mat was playing some computer game in which he pretends to be a submarine commander in 1939, patrolling the British coastline. It’s highly realistic, in that nothing much happens. I would have expected the future of gaming to be ADD-inducing ultraviolence. Instead, it’s the authentic experience of someone else’s boredom. So much more meaningful than your own.